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Project Duality
Day One: I've gone and taken the time to undertake an experiment in cooperation with Henderson Tech In order to study and research the effects of dimensional matter on people. These idiots are curious if it give them "superpowers" or some stupid crap like that. I would've argued with them, but they did offer a very lucrative cash reward for it and I'm hoping that maybe it'll be enough to find her again. start a new project on my own. This journal is simply here to document anything I find to the discovery or anything I feel like getting off my chest. I mean, that's obviously what journals are for. Anyway, I suppose a day one is as good a place as any to start. I've managed to look over the plans for what they want me to do and to be honest, it all looks worrying from a humanitarian perspective. However, from a business perspective, it needs to be done if I'm going to start fresh. Day Three: I managed to get the funding and the materials, but not enough "cooperative" subjects. For some reason, I suppose the exposure of people to dangerous dimensional matter is "off-putting" to people. In the meantime, the research into this stuff is pretty shady. It's toxic as hell, not to mention the fact that it seems to act like goo and rubber at the same time. I've made queries as to how they managed to get a hold of the stuff to no avail, but I digress. Finding testing subjects may be hard, but if I don't find any, I'm sunk out of my funding. But I'm not so worried; around this time of year, plenty of people make their way to Death Row. Maybe I can get some subjects from there that will be sufficient. I miss her. I didn't think I would, but I truly do miss her. It was a mistake and now I can't help but think, maybe I would've been better off with her than that inconsiderate chicken. Day Six: A whole week and no one has come forward to volunteer for this experiment. Not even the prisons will allow me their inmates; apparently, what I'm doing here is inhumane. I'm afraid that I may lose the project funding for this as well as the research grant for the results and the parameters of the test won't allow me to use any standard animals. I'd hate to even entertain this thought, but I may have to test this matter on myself. That's the only thing I can think of that won't void the grant and I need that. As I write this, I'm filling out the work for being a test subject. There is a lot 'of liability forms in here and now I'm starting to realize why they didn't give me subjects from the prison. It's just pages of "You assume responsibility for any permanent damage done to you as a result of the experiment." I'm sure I can do this without anything bad happening. ''It's for her, Wheeler. You can do it, knowing this. You know it's true, you said it yourself. After all, I '''am always right when it comes to the matter of experimentation like this. Day Eight: It has been officially twenty four hours since I took the serum I was directed to. I must admit I don't feel any different than my usual self, aside from a headache that feels like my brain is splitting in two. Good thing I at least have a journal so others can know if this stuff kills. I also had a very "unique" dream in the traditional sense in which I am confronted with a mirror within a seemingly endless and empty room. The second my vision drifted away from the mirror, my mirror image almost seemed to invert, if that sounds plausible. I'll try and gather a sketch together should it happen again tonight, but that clone looked as though it wanted something; like it was attempting to speak to me. I'll be sure to document everything I can. Day Nine: Okay, perhaps I should've reconsidered using myself to experiment on, but now is as good a time as any. From what I can gather, the dimensional matter hasn't altered my mental state or physical attributes. However, it does seem to have altered my unconscious mind, judging by the split image of me that seems to be recurrent in my dreams. I don't know it anything else has changed, I'm not a psychologist for crying out loud. What I do know is that he is beginning to talk to me as if he's a separate person. He comes to me through the mirror, asking me if I know that "my time is up" and whether or not I "really care about her". I never know how to respond or even whether I should, but I need to know if this is the side-effect of the dimensional matter or I'm just losing my freaking mind over her. I will find a way back to her. I'm falling apart at the seams. Maybe, just maybe, that's why I keep seeing the me I never was in my dreams. It's the version of her that knows how people work, how to get inside their heads. Day Eleven: Okay, it's become quite obvious that this matter is what's causing me to have this hallucinations and lucid dreams. This "Jason" persona is me, at least mentally on some psychological level and that frightens me to a great degree. The only logical option at this point would be to create an antidote using the remainder of the dimensional matter I have left. I don't know how long I have; hell, it might already be too late for me. "Jason" has shown a growing influence on my perception of reality as well as my unconscious state. He's hidden things from me that I don't recall moving at all and I'm beginning to suffer from hallucinations of old people, dead people, as well as of memories long past. For God's sake, the bastard made me see her again. He stirred up old feelings and I think he did it on purpose to provoke me. I can't take it anymore and I don't know how long I have. I suppose the next time I get around to finding a breakthrough, I'll have another entry. Day Twelve: I've ran out of the dimensional matter to test on in order to make an antidote and I'm probably already lost to myself. I've been coughing up this black substance and it feels like my heartbeat has slowed a considerable amount since this transformation happened. Random periods of memory loss can't be good either but that's also part of it. This "Jason", whoever he is, won the fight and I can't think of a better way to have one last victory than to get a few things off my chest. I've made a hell of a lot of mistakes, probably more than enough for someone as "successful" as I am. One of them is leaving Arianna behind for this wacko chicken. Masterson was probably the perfect person, just in general. She's witty, intelligent, a little stubborn but always has the best of intentions, not to mention her perfect figure and badass attitude; that's a whole lot of checked boxes for Jack. *A few stained tears are seen along the paper as the excerpt continues* But all half-baked jokes aside, I just wish I could've told her I'm sorry, that what I did to her shouldn't have been done to anyone else. She was perfect, and I left her for garbage like a stupid idiot. It's only now in my last moments that I see that she cared more about me than anyone I've ever met. Maybe it is a good thing that this Jason is going to be here instead of me. Maybe he can succeed where I failed and find someone who he cares about more than anything and have the intelligence not to leave. Heh, I didn't think I could still tear up over anything. I suppose this day is just full of last minute surprises for my departure. This won't be the last of me and I'm not giving up. If it takes the last of my willpower, I will fight this and I will find her again, I swear on my life; not like that's worth much at this point anyway. I know at least this much, she'll be safe from Jason and whatever the hell he's going to do. If he's born of my brain and personality, he'll think she's a treasure like I did; he wouldn't risk hurting her. *Within the folds of the paper would be the folded patch of his Foundation lab coat with a small key wrapped within it* Arianna, if you're the one reading this, I can only be certain of two things. One, you think I'm a total weenie for being this emotional for you and two, that someone close to me somehow found you so you can read this. There is a key within the patch of the Foundation logo that belongs to my office on Site-44. If you go to them empty-handed, they'll tell you it's a restricted area unless you show them my patch. Once inside, ask them if they can point you to my office. In there is a few gifts that I had intended to get you for Valentine's Day before all this crazy crap happened with Chirley. I can't apologize enough for what I did to you, S. I understand if you don't want to do any of that shit because of how I treated you; hell, maybe you'll never read this. Maybe you're the smarter one than I am and decide to leave the past behind along with me; honestly, that'd be the best decision for you. But should you ever think I'm worth the time, my office is open, as long as you have the key that is. Please don't forget me, Arianna. I know for a fact I never will. I love you Arianna Masterson, now and forever.